


Quiet Places

by blxetack



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Fluff, Long Distance Relationship, M/M, Post-Canon, Relationship Issues, Smut, competitive skating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2018-12-21 17:33:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11949213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blxetack/pseuds/blxetack
Summary: Yuri and Victor have been struggling through the last few months of their long distance relationship and while they want each other, they've become unfamiliar with how to be together. But perhaps the answers to life and love can be more easily happened upon than they think.





	1. Come Back... Be Here

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a brief smut one shot for a friend, and then I turned it into a fic for her birthday - I hope you like it and happy birthday!

_'Taxi cabs and busy streets,_  
_That never bring you back to me,_  
_I can't help but wish you took me with you..._  
_And this is when the feeling sinks in'_

It had been back and forth the last five months. The distance kept tearing them apart. Every few months Yuri would fly to Russia or Victor would fly to Detroit, it was painful and Yuri doubted they could make it through the season. It was only a few times here and there, but they fell into arguments more easily and stood across from each other, raising their voices until they couldn't look at each other anymore. But Victor kept turning up at the airport - to pick up or arrive, it didn't matter - with a weary smile on his face, ready to embrace Yuri as tightly as he could. It wasn't their love evaporating. It was just hard. They spent so much time in Skype calls and on the phone they'd forgotten how be together physically.

Yuri technically had two coaches now; he'd gone back to Celestino in Detroit - welcomed with an affectionate 'Knew you'd come back eventually' - who helped him perfect the routines Victor choreographed. The latter, much to Yurio's horror, had returned to Yakov in Russia. They were both placing well so far. Victor was having trouble maintaining his status next to Yurio, who didn't just want to win the Grand Prix again, but wanted to win it against Victor while he had the chance and truly establish himself as Victor's successor.

Yuri didn’t like being split between two locations. It wasn't so much the travel, it was when one of them had to go home. Yuri's mind would get quiet after he'd give Victor one last kiss and one last hug. It would remain silent even when he got back to his quiet apartment. He'd shower and clean up and sit down in the emptiness and try to pay attention to something, whether it be his Instagram feed or the television. But after the emptiness, impatience would fill his head. Small spaces seemed to get bigger when you were pining for someone far away or impossible to have right now.

The distance also meant their differences remained unresolved. Neither of them wanted to fight over the phone, so their frustrations were taken out on each other when they were finally together. They weren't angry with each other, it was their situation. After the Grand Prix Final last year, they'd decided that neither of them wanted it to end and that still remained. But they couldn't keep it if it wasn't going to work. Not like this.

Yuri couldn't help thinking these things. If they kept fighting, it meant their relationship would lose substance, meaning and love. He'd lost count of how many nights he'd laid awake, by himself or wrapped around Victor, feeing like he was freefalling through this relationship and Victor would be too far away or too unconscious to notice or care.

\+ + +

Today, Yuri was in Russia again, lying across Victor's couch while the other man made tea, smiling to himself as he filled two mugs. He finished Yuri's with half milk and a teaspoon of sugar, topping off his own with only a dash of milk. Yuri watched him move about the kitchen space with as much grace as he carried on the ice, despite only rinsing and putting away the spoons.

The Rostelecom Cup was next week and Yuri had decided to come to Russia a few days before Celestino to spend time with Victor. He'd come off the red-eye last night to Victor waiting for him at baggage claim. They'd been so tired, they'd shared only a hello before they'd stumbled into a cab and fallen onto Victor's bed, passing out in a mess of limbs.

'I've missed you', Yuri said, watching as Victor waltzed across the kitchen, into the loungeroom, passing Yuri his mug. Yuri straightened himself up, his back on the armrest. 'Whenever my family calls, they ask about you, how you are, what you've been up to…'

'I've missed you too,' Victor replied softly, taking the couch's opposite end and tangling his legs with Yuri's. When they'd been separated for so long, every point of contact was comforting and satisfying and they often had quiet moments like these when they were alone. Yuri liked the silence with Victor, these days it left no room for mistakes or unwise words. With Yuri's emotions turning over every day like they were in a tumble dryer, it allowed space for him to sift through them and remind himself that he really loved Victor. Unconditionally.

Victor studied Yuri over his mug in silence, taking in every change. His hair was slightly longer, it hadn't been cut since the last time he was around. He'd lost weight, his face was undeniably slimmer. His eyes showed fatigue, but Yuri's mouth was curved into a small, content smile that accentuated the innocent look he often carried on his face. And Victor smiled too.

When they'd finished their tea, they washed their mugs up together and Victor put on the television, just a morning show. Yuri sat back on the couch, one of his legs folded under the other, he placed a pillow on his knee leaning against the armrest and patted the space when Victor sat down. His boyfriend smiled and laid on his back, shuffling up to make himself more comfortable. He looked up at Yuri and smiled. Yuri responded by kissing him on the forehead and tangling his fingers in Victor's hair to play with while they watched Russia's morning updates, enjoying the comforting weight and warmth before he had to leave again.

\+ + +

In public, when they were grocery shopping or walking to the rink, they filled the empty air with new stories and questions, an easy back and forth. Skates dangled from their hands as they laughed to Victor's stories about training alongside Yurio, who was even more hot-headed now he was sixteen and the sport's most recent champion.

'Everyday, Yakov changes his mind on who is worse to deal with', Victor laughed, 'sometimes they both curse that I ever got back on the ice. You'll get to see him yelling at us sometime in the next week.'

'I'd love to,' Yuri replied, 'and I know Phichit would like to catch up with you at some point. Plus I think Celestino expects you'll show up soon. But today I want to show you my Free Skate routine with just the two of us.'

'Of course, it'll almost be just like old times', Victor said softly, brushing the tips of his fingers along Yuri's wrist for a brief moment, something that could even appear accidental.

They entered the rink and Victor approached the counter, speaking politely in Russian to the girl at reception and passing her some money. He and Yuri silently got ready on one of the benches scattered along the walls. Yuri stood and turned to face Victor as he skated into the centre.

'Don't take your eyes off me!' He called, a toothy smile accentuating the exclamation as he got into position and waited for Victor to start the music.

When it did, he started with a smile on his face, it had been too long since he'd had the chance to hold Victor's gaze with his skating. He put everything into it, trying to perfect every jump, every step, every spin, catching glimpses of silver hair as he moved.


	2. Photograph

_'We made these memories for ourselves_

_Where our eyes are never closing_

_Hearts were never broken_

_Times forever frozen still'_

 

Then it was only an observation from Victor about Yuri's routine.

'Your arms look sloppy, I've never seen them like that before', Victor called across the rink from where he was leaning against the barrier, while Yuri was mid-routine. 'It should look like this', he said, skating into the middle of the rink and gracefully demonstrating the more controlled sweeping motions.

'Perhaps if you were around more, I wouldn't look so bad', Yuri retorted, his anger immediately bursting because if Victor was never around, how was he supposed to learn it how Victor wanted it?

'That's on you', Victor replied, 'do you have a ballet instructor in Detroit?' He wanted to keep his head straight, he couldn’t do this again. However, he couldn't speak for Yuri.

Yuri's usually warm eyes turned cold. 'I could easily find one, but that's not the point-'

Victor matched his stare, trying to find his Yuri in the cold, brown eyes or will him back into existence. 'That is the point, if you want to win gold you have to look better.'

'Like I could win next to you, is that what you mean?' Yuri asked, skating out of the rink and accidentally knocking his hip on the barrier in his frustration, but refusing to wince while he already looked pathetic. He put his blade covers back on and pulled his jacket around himself, putting all his energy into just getting out of the rink before he started crying or yelling. But the damage had already been dealt.

'Yuri-', Victor's voice was laced with frustration, but a plea lay in its depths .

Yuri shook his head and walked out of the rink, the door clicking shut behind him, leaving Victor to stand in the middle of the rink, looking at the marks Yuri had left in the ice. He closed his eyes and bowed his head. His muscle memory itched and he realised he was in the starting position for his Short Program. He took a breath and began skating.

The rink was silent except for the scratchy sound of his skates carving marks into the ice. The music played in his head and he illustrated every move with his carefully practiced grace, landing all his jumps. He practiced until there was nothing left in his mind except movement and music.

\+ + +

 When Yuri got back to Victor's door, he pulled out his key and unlocked the door more violently than he should. When it slammed behind him, he sunk against it, falling to the floor, squeezing the key in his fist until his right palm ached. Silent tears were falling down his face as he released his fist to look at the silver key on the Makkachin keychain. Victor had it cut and sent to Detroit as part of Yuri's birthday present. He'd opened it over a Skype call.

Makkachin came out of the bedroom and ran up to him, yapping and nosing his arm. Yuri ran a hand through his curls, reminded of his toy poodle, Victor, and he started to sob, the tears flowing faster. He jammed the heels of his hands onto his eyes as he shook, only starting to really realise what was happening. Four times. That was the fourth time he and Victor had fought. It couldn't stay like this. He couldn't keep doing this to Victor, coming and going, leaving anger and unhappiness in his wake. He couldn't. He-

He looked at the gold band on his finger. All he could think about was Victor's expression when he'd slid it on, soft, happy, a little vulnerable. And that's what this made them, wasn't it? Vulnerable.

He had to get up off the floor. If Victor came home and Yuri was leaning on the door, that would surely make everything worse. If it could get worse. If. He sighed and wiped at his cheeks. He tried to breathe. He stood up. He picked up his bag, trying not to step on Makkachin as the dog ran around his ankles and jumped up, demanding attention. But Yuri ignored him and locked himself in the bathroom.

He showered, but his hands kept shaking and all he could think was I did this to myself, but I did it to Victor too. He stopped crying though. The hot water forced him to calm down and he decided to just sit on the couch and wait for Victor to come home.

Victor didn't come home. Yuri waited on the couch, scrolling through Instagram, reading a book and petting Makkachin from time to time. He even fed his boyfriend's dog because the idiot wouldn't come home to his own house. Yuri didn't put any music on, he'd often do that when he was sad, but he knew nothing would work this time.

He sat in silence. The quiet fell around him like a blanket being pulled tighter and tighter around his body until he could barely breathe, was gasping for air through the seams. Makkachin scurried around, evidently concerned about the atmosphere Yuri had created in the apartment, a toxic space he'd created all alone. The sun went down. Yuri didn't know what time it was, but he curled up on the couch in his clothes, pulled the throw over himself and tried to sleep. Or tried to pretend to sleep in case Victor came home.

The door opened eventually. Yuri heard the lock turn and the door click as Victor quietly closed it. He didn't dare open his eyes because Victor would see he was awake. He listened to Victor take his shoes off and counted his steps as he approached the couch.

'Yuri', he whispered.

Yuri felt slender fingers move through his fringe and for a moment he wanted to respond, but he tried to show no sign of consciousness. Victor had made him wait today, he would make Victor wait tonight and they could mend this in the morning.

But Yuri kept himself waiting too, because he didn’t sleep; the light glowing under the bedroom door said that Victor didn't either.

\+ + +

When Yuri heard Victor's door open the next morning, he pretended to sleep again. He listened to Victor make his breakfast and leave. Without writing his usual note or waking Yuri, without making him some coffee or putting the fallen blanket back over him. Yuri sat up and looked around, he'd taken Makkachin for a walk and left his skates in the corner.

Yuri had a brief shower and left the house at a jog, running along the street until he arrived at the bridge crossing the river. When he crossed it, Victor was on the other side, Makkachin's leash around his wrist, leaning on the railing lining the bank. He looked up when Yuri approached, a sad smile that didn't match his eyes graced his lips for moment, before he tugged them into a line again.

They just looked at each other. Perhaps there was nothing they could say anymore. Makkachin started pawing at Yuri's calves and he bent down to greet the poodle, scratching him behind his ears. Yuri looked up and Victor was still watching him, the sadness was beginning to touch his eyes. Yuri stood. He reached for Victor, he just needed his elbow, he knew that would be all it took. He touched it with his fingers and slowly wrapped his fingers around it, his thumb pressed to the inside.

Victor was looking at his elbow, at Yuri's hand clasped around it, asking, begging. Yuri tugged on it and pulled Victor home with him. They walked back in silence, Yuri wasn't sure quite what to do, but he just wanted to take Victor home and then they could figure this out; he knew Victor looking despondent next to the river wasn't going to fix anything.

When they got home, he reached for the other elbow and tugged Victor towards him. He often wished that he was taller so he could kiss Victor's forehead and pull him in with a hand on the back of his head. Instead, he had to settle with Victor pulling him in the rest of the way, allowing Yuri to press his face into his neck. Yuri closed his eyes and breathed in the soft scent of Victor's skin. In the morning he always smelt like raspberries from his shower, the scent would fade throughout the day into his natural scent. Yuri liked that scent most.

They stayed like that for a while; eventually, Victor pulled away to press a kiss to Yuri's forehead, holding his lips there, a hand stroking the hairline at the back of head. It seemed they caused their problems with words, so didn't it make sense to fix everything without them?

It's just that Yuri had to remind Victor. 'I love you', he murmured, opening his eyes, pulling away to meet Victor's soft blue eyes, placing his right hand on his face to run a thumb along Victor's damp cheekbone.

Victor smiled properly this time, a happy smile that united his eyes and lips. 'I love you too', Victor muttered, holding Yuri's face in both his hands and kissing him gently. It was slow, just mouths moving against each other for barely a few seconds before Victor pulled away and turned to take his shoes off. Makkachin sniffed around their feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this one! I had some difficulties with the formatting, but hopefully I can fix that soon.


	3. Afterglow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy, I'm actually kind of proud of how this chapter turned out? Hope you like it too!

 ''Can't stay here but you can't go home,'

Did you hear that line somewhere before?

And you look just fine on your own

But we look better in the afterglow'

 

Yuri always came back to the ice. No matter how many times he messed up a jump or spun out of a turn, cursing at himself for being the _worst_ of the best. There was something about the ice that could cure those failures, extricate the doubt from his head and reinforce that he belonged here. By now, skates felt just as natural to him as bare feet and he moved more gracefully on the ice than on his bedroom floor.

He was alone. He still needed that. He loved Victor, but even he couldn't quite quell the noise that resounded within Yuri's head when he was worried or anxious, especially with the Rostelecom Cup next week. And a promise to talk through their issues.

He stood in the middle of the rink, the air conditioning encased him in pressing cold and though he could feel goose bumps rising up his arms, under his hoodie, he knew that soon his muscles would be warm.

He breathed in. He breathed out.

His body took the starting position and then he was moving. He knew this step sequence better than his own heartbeat, if ever he forgot how to walk, he would remember this. He concentrated on his arms, trying to find the constructiveness in Victor's criticisms. They were sloppy, he needed to control them. They were tenser than the rest of his body, but he'd discovered over the years that tension meant learning and it’s absence meant it had been learned.

He got ready for his triple Lutz. He jumped, spun through the air and landed squarely on his right leg, smiling in victory. If only he could bring the confidence he'd started to exude on the ice into his real life, into his romantic life with Victor. Why was he so hesitant towards voicing all the good things he felt, but never stuttered when shouting the bad things? Victor gave him Eros last year to help him discover something new about himself, perhaps his new program about patience was made to teach him something also? Perhaps Victor was asking for Yuri to stay.

He knew he was impatient, he'd been like that all his life, always asking for something to happen right now instead of tomorrow. When he got really impatient, he got frustrated, becoming short with everyone around him, unable to rein in his tone to something more appropriate. He was the problem. But _there was_ another person in this relationship.

He ruined the quad Flip, but he could barely remember falling by the time he was on his feet, performing the last step sequence before the combination spins. He wished he could move this gracefully every day, like Victor did, blurring the lines between skating and living. He twirled, moving into each position as he slowed and finally, moved into the finishing stance.

His breaths moved rapidly in and out of his body as he skated off the rink, his eyes on his feet. He'd watched them a lot when he'd learnt to skate, but had phased out of it when he became more comfortable. They looked so much different to how they did fifteen years ago. Now they moved without thinking, without wobbling or sliding out from under him unexpectedly.

He was trying to delay going back to Victor's. _Call it home, it's yours too_ he'd once said to Yuri the first time he visited. But under the circumstances it didn't feel like home, they'd agreed they would need to talk about yesterday and the last four months, but Yuri was still uncertain of the result. He put his blade guards back on and walked to his duffel bag, sitting down on the same bench he and Victor had sat on only two days ago and took off his skates. He'd managed to get the rink to himself today and spent a few hours practicing his Free Skate, seeing as he couldn't quite perfect it yet, always messing up the quad Flip. Though it always seemed to prove a risk worth taking in every competition.

\+ + +

The door was unlocked when Yuri got back to Victor's. The latter was leaning against the kitchen bench, arms folded, looking out the window. When Yuri shut the door behind him, he turned, leaning on his elbows, face cupped between his hands.

'Hey,' he greeted Yuri gently, 'how was the rink?'

'Good, I still haven't the landed the quad Flip', he replied.

Victor only shook his head in understanding, 'We'll go over it with Celestino in a couple of days.  I think right now should be about us, no?'

Yuri nodded and dropped his duffel on the floor by the kitchen bench, kneeling down to greet Makkachin. His feelings of unsure anticipation were leaking back into his body, through his fingers, up his arms and sprinkling down into his stomach and thighs and calves and toes. He was trembling. He continued to stroke Makkachin's side, not willing to move until he calmed down, but Victor had noticed and was kneeling in front of him, he pried Yuri's hands away from the poodle and twined their fingers together.

'It's okay', Victor said softly, kissing Yuri's knuckles between his own.

'Is it?' Yuri whispered.

'Of course,' Victor replied, giving Yuri a soft smile, 'this isn't a breakup.'

 _Not yet_ , Yuri thought to himself, he tried not to indulge in doubt and his own feelings of worthlessness, but he'd always found it difficult to believe he amounted to anything. With Victor, a lot of that went away, because he was always reassured he meant something, but recently his old thought patterns had been forming nets in his brain.

Victor pulled him to his feet and lead him into the kitchen. 'Would you like something to eat?'

Yuri shook his head. Even if his stomach wasn't bottoming out like it was before, nervous rushes still coursed through his body. 'I tried my routine again with your criticisms,' he offered to Victor who was filling a glass with water.

Victor nodded in consideration and stared out the window for a few seconds before turning back to Yuri and leaning against the bench. 'I'd like to see it later if you'll trust showing me,' he paused, 'I am sorry about that, I wanted to correct you, I guess I didn’t know how.'

Yuri gave a breathy laugh, 'I think I overreacted anyway.'

'You did overreact,' Victor raised his eyebrows, 'why?'

'I think sometimes it's just your body language, even when you can't help it, it makes me feel like you're trying to show me how superior you are and I know that you’re easily a better skater-'

Victor cut him off, 'Stop. Stop comparing yourself to me. Do you even know how far you've come? Do I have to give you side-by-side of last year's and the year before's Grand Prix final footage for you to see that?'

'Well I've never felt like I amounted to much. Especially after my tragic career.'

'I guess that's something else,' Victor whispered, 'sometimes I still worry you're not taking this seriously, that you're still the wide-eyed fan I first met. But you're more than that. Last year you were the second best skater in the world.'

'I couldn't have achieved that without you', Yuri shook his head in surprised understanding, 'that's why I need you so much, because your eyes on me makes me want to be better, because only I know how to hold the gaze of Victor Nikiforov and I need to find new ways to surprise him.' Yuri's brown eyes met Victor's blue ones. 'We can make this work, we will.'

Victor nodded, his eyes full of love, 'I couldn't spend the rest of my life coaching someone else while I watch you in YouTube updates.'

Yuri laughed, 'Come here,' he said, leaning over the counter, hoping Victor would read him just enough…

… to cross the kitchen and meet their mouths over the counter.

Yuri smiled into the kiss, placing his hand on the back of Victor's neck. He parted their lips and pushed his forehead against Victor's. 'Don't ever take your eyes off me', he demanded.

'Only if you never retire', Victor teased.

And Yuri finally laughed, Victor joined in and kissed Yuri everywhere on his face between breathy 'I love you, I love you, I love you's'.


	4. Dirty Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited \m/ I wrote this late at night for a friend, cause she thinks the YOI fandom lacks smut. This chapter started this fic and I haven't read it about three months? You've been warned. Also thank god for Wynter Gordon, this chapter was written to the beats of Dirty Talk and Til Death.  
> Sidenote: a comedic version for my friend Georgia will be uploaded in two weeks so we can all have a laugh at my bad smut.

'I am no angel

I like it when you do that stuff to me

I am no angel

I like it when you talk, dirty when you talk'

 

Despite growing up in Hasetsu, which tended to get quite cold in the winter, Yuri never enjoyed being cold; on the ice, it kept him alert and he knew no matter how little sleep he'd gotten, entering the rink would always jerk him awake. But it was so cold in Russia and all he wanted to do was sleep. Victor had already passed out next to him long ago and the man was always a human heater.

Yuri rolled over to wrap himself around his shirtless boyfriend, pressing his face into the warm space between Victor's neck and shoulder.

'If you took that shirt off you’d warm up faster', he heard the other man murmur into his hair.

Yuri smirked into Victor's skin before moving to straddle his hips, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it into the corner.

'That's better', Victor purred, sitting up on his elbows to admire the view.

Yuri smirked at him again, 'Maybe you'd warm up faster if I did this', he leant down to meet their lips, beginning to gently roll his hips against Victor's while their tongue's swirled against each other.

Victor hummed in pleasure and Yuri could feel Victor's dick getting harder as Yuri grinded his own hard-on into Victor. Yuri pushed him down into the mattress and began working on Victor's neck, nibbling and sucking randomly while Victor sighed, tightening his arms around Yuri's lower back, holding him in place. Yuri made his way down to Victor's chest, tweaking his nipples between his teeth and sucking harder when Victor's body arched up in response.

'More', Victor gasped and Yuri moved his body further, sitting up momentarily to tug off Victor's pyjama shorts, revealing his quivering member. Yuri liked to tease and he decided to start by leaning down and biting on the inside of Victor's thighs, painstakingly close, but not close enough. Victor's hands ran through Yuri's hair, tugging, pulling him towards the place Victor needed relief most.

Yuri conceded and ran his tongue up Victor's thigh and around the base of his cock before taking the tip in his mouth. Victor gasped in pleasure, his fingers tangling in Yuri's hair even more, guiding his boyfriend's head as it moved up and down.

'Yuri', he breathed out as he came, watching Yuri swallow and lick a stray drop from his lips. Yuri climbed his way back up Victor's body to unite their lips briefly while Victor removed Yuri's pants and flipped him over onto his back.

'My turn to get lucky?' Yuri asked.

Victor laughed, 'Of course, what kind of boyfriend would I be?' He asked opening the bedside table to retrieve the condoms and lube they stashed when they arrived.

Victor prepped himself quickly and pulled Yuri's legs up to wrap around his waist. He collected some lube on his fingers, Yuri shuddered as Victor smeared the col gel around his anus then pushed a cold and slippery finger inside him.

'Thought you were trying to warm me up', Yuri joked as Victor stretched him out.

'In a moment, love', Viktor murmured against Yuri's lips, kissing him slowly while he adjusted to the pain. Victor removed his fingers, pulled away and Yuri hitched his legs higher around his boyfriend as Victor lined himself up.

Gently, he pushed the tip of his cock into Yuri and slowly inched the rest of it in, watching as Yuri adjusted and nodded, signalling he was fine. Yuri gasped when Victor was fully in and his dick was just pressing against Yuri's prostate. Victor started to move gently, pulling himself halfway out before pushing himself back in.

'Victor, more', Yuri groaned and Victor sped up, his member rhythmically hitting Yuri's prostate, making the words 'like that, yeah just like that' escape his pale lips. Victor put on hand next to Yuri's head and the other around his cock, moving up and down with the rhythm of his body, causing Yuri to cry out as he came into Victor's hand, which was pressed into Yuri chest as he came and pulled himself out slowly.

Yuri was panting, his eyes half closed as he looked up at Victor though his lashes. 'I'm warm now', he said softly, lowering his legs while Victor laid between them, wiping cum off his hand and Yuri's chest with a tissue. They stayed that way, lying chest to chest, Yuri holding Victor to him as their breathing evened and their erections went away.

Victor pressed his face into Yuri's shoulder, 'And now I'll keep you warm', he muttered against the bare skin, pressing a soft kiss there.


	5. Angel on Fire

_'I used to be a darling starlet like a centrepiece_

_Had the whole world wrapped around my ring[…]_

_And I'm faded away, you know, I used to be on fire_

_I'm standing in the ashes of who I used to be'_

 

They were sitting side by side on the grass in a park, looking out at people walking their dogs and children playing tag around the trees.

'I'm going to retire next year,' Victor said quietly, looking out to the city skyline peeking out over the short trees, 'so I can be with you more, so we can get married and you can compete without flying and back and forth. I'm the oldest skater competing and I think this should be my last year.'

Yuri studied his profile, his blue eyes looked unfocused like he was looking into the future instead of into the sky, the breeze rustled his hair gently. As Yuri studied him, he turned over this information in his mind. It would be easier if Victor retired, but Yuri wouldn't want him to be unhappy, or to be responsible for that unhappiness. But perhaps they couldn't be as unhappy as they'd been these last few months.

'If that's what you would like, I won't stop you', Yuri finally replied. He said the words carefully, trying to make sure they tasted right as they came out, 'But if that will make you unhappy, to watch me skate, because I will continue, then don’t do it just for me'.

'Yuri, I would feel privileged to watch you skate for another year', Victor said, finally turning his head to look Yuri in the eye, 'of course, I mean, perhaps we could continue our arrangement with Celestino next year. Or I could coach you full time again. We could live in Japan.'

Yuri nodded in response and they both turned their attention to the footpath near the gate. 'I'd like that.'

'Me too', Victor leaned over and kissed Yuri's cheek, it was clumsy and fleeting, he'd smooshed their faces together at a weird angle more than anything else, but Yuri laughed to the sky anyway.

'I'm happy', Yuri said. He meant it, because he really was. Everything happening overwhelmed him every day, he knew he'd have to leave Russia again next week, knew he'd have to train between now and then, where he and Victor would stop becoming being lovers for a little while and be competitors instead. But for now, this was okay.

Victor sighed contentedly and brushed his hand against Yuri's. They left the silence as it was, admiring the passers-by wending their way through the greenery and the light chatter filling the air.

The most cathartic elements in a relationship seemed to happen in silence. When people spoke, the could mould the truth like clay and you _had_ to believe them if you wanted it fixed. But silence allowed body language to become to main mode of communication, the body filled in what speech couldn't and it told the truth.

Right now, Victor was telling Yuri that he wanted to be here, he was expressing nervousness over showing public affection here while his body said the opposite. Victor wanted to skate - he was tapping his feet - and was happy too. A little scared for the future, a little scared that a little talk wouldn't solve anything.

'Let's go home', Yuri murmured, watching Victor's profile.

Victor nodded once. He swept his fringe from his eyes. He stood. Now he was excited for something and Yuri loved to watch how incentive changed Victor's body from tired to energised.

\+ + +

It was Grand Prix Final day. Victor woke over an hour before his alarm, letting his breaths run away from him as they came in and out in gasps and exhales. He tried to be still, but Yuri woke up, leaning on his elbow and rubbing his eyes, picking up his glasses.

'Victor?' He asked.

'It's Grand Prix Final day', was the only explanation he thought could justify his panic. But it wasn't just Grand Prix Final day, it was the last day of his career. He didn't know whether he wanted to go out with a graceful win or tragic loss.

'I didn’t think Victor would be nervous', Yuri said, leaning over to press a soft kiss to the corner of Victor's mouth.

'This is my last competition', Victor frowned.

Yuri mouth curved just a tiny bit. 'Maybe I'll win.' He gave Victor a chaste kiss and threw back the covers and got in the shower.

Victor just listened and lay, listening to Yuri hum over the pattering water.

\+ + +

Victor skated onto the ice. The crowd was overwhelming shouting and cheering and Victor felt his concentration slipping and his confidence shattering. He'd done this for thirteen years. And he would do it now. He halted in the centre of the rink and took his starting position, the faces of the crowd just fallen petals on blue pond.

The music began. His opening step sequence led him into a triple lutz. Victor's feet had been leading him over the ice for years; he'd been so small the first time he put on his first pair of skates, his hand in his mother's as she led him through the rink. He'd fallen on his face within minutes, but his mother's gentle hands pulled him up and she cooed at him until he stopped crying. He'd been terrible at skating when he began. When he learnt jumps, the other kids in his class mastered the single loop long before Victor felt brave enough to actually _jump_ on his blades. He practiced with in the kitchen with socks for a while.

He worked so hard to get better. The constant failure meant he was more motivated to exceed his peers and when he was ten, he became a prodigy. When he was fifteen, he became Russia's sweetheart and champion, finally standing on the podium he'd always longed to be on.

The crowd cheered as he completed his signature quadruple flip, but if Yuri could master it today, it would no longer be so much Victor's. The crowd cheered and when he came out of the spin, he searched the crowd for Yuri. He couldn't see him, but he swore he caught a flash of Yurio's blonde head.

The music faded away and he scratched up the ice in a single turn to halt himself. Breaths fell in and out of him in rapid succession. He swept his arms wide and raised one above his head as the crowd clapped and whistled and threw things miscellaneous things onto the ice from bouquets to Makkachin plushies. He pulled and pushed air through his lungs, battling to calm his shaky arms. One last pull and he skated off the rink.

Yuri was waiting for him, a smile all over his face. 'You did so well.'

Victor only nodded. The crowds silence accentuated the announcers voice detailing his score. Yurio was  yet to skate, but Victor knew it wasn't enough. A tragic loss then. He wasn't Russia's sweetheart anymore.

\+ + +

He stood beside Yurio on the podium. The blonde was grinning and waving to the crowd with Yuri just as happy on the other side. Victor smiled and waved. He didn't kiss this one. Some might say he was sore loser, only kissing the gold ones, but they would also say he was an angel fallen from grace. He didn't know which would be worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks you so much for reading this!   
> If you're interested, you can follow my [tumblr](http://blxetack.tumblr.com/)


	6. Bonus Content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is meant to be a comedic rendition of chapter four. This is for George, this chapter was her idea.

Despite growing up in Hasetsu, which tended to get quite cold in the winter, Yuri had never adjusted to the cold; on the ice, it kept him alert and he knew that no matter how little sleep he’d gotten, entering the rink would always jerk him awake. But it was so cold in Russia and all he wanted to do was sleep, Viktor had already passed out next to him long ago and the man was always a human heater.

Yuri rolled over to wrap himself around his shirtless boyfriend, pressing his face into the warm space between Viktor’s neck and shoulder.

‘If you took that shirt off you’d warm up faster’, he heard the other man murmur into his air.

Yuri smirked into Viktor’s skin before moving to straddle his hips, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it into the corner.

‘That’s better’, Viktor purred, sitting up on his elbows to admire the view.

Yuri smirked at him again, ‘Maybe you’d warm up faster if I did this’, he leant down to meet their lips, beginning to gently roll his hips against Viktor’s while their tongue’s swirled against each other.

Viktor hummed in pleasure and Yuri could feel Viktor’s player 1 getting harder and harder as Yuri grinded his own player 2 into Viktor. Yuri pushed him down into the mattress and began working on Viktor’s neck, nibbling and sucking randomly while Viktor sighed, tightening his arms around Yuri’s lower back, holding him in place. Yuri made his way to Viktor’s chest, tweaking his nipples between his teeth and sucking harder when Viktor’s body arched up in response.

‘More’, Viktor gasped and Yuri moved his body down further, sitting up momentarily to tug off Viktor’s pyjama pants, revealing his quivering player 1. Yuri liked to tease and he decided to start by leaning down and biting on the inside of Viktor’s thighs, painstakingly close, but not close enough. Viktor’s hands ran through Yuri’s hair, tugging, pulling him towards the place Viktor needed relief most.

Yuri conceded and ran his tongue up Viktor’s thigh and around the base of his player 1 before taking the tip in his mouth. Viktor gasped in pleasure, his fingers tangling in Yuri’s hair even more, guiding his boyfriends head as it moved up and down.

‘Yuri’, he breathed out as he came, watching Yuri swallow and lick a stray drop from his lips. Yuri climbed his way back up Viktor’s body to unite their lips briefly while Viktor removed Yuri’s pants and flipped him over onto his back.

‘My turn to get lucky?’ Yuri asked.

Viktor laughed, ‘Of course, what kind of boyfriend would I be?’ he asked opening the bedside table to retrieve the condoms and lube they stashed when they arrived.

Viktor prepped himself quickly and pulled Yuri’s legs up to wrap around his waist. He collected some lube on his fingers, Yuri shuddered as Viktor smeared the cold gel around his player 3 then pushed a cold and slippery finger inside him.

‘Thought you were trying to warm me up’, Yuri joked as Viktor stretched him out.

‘In a moment’, Viktor murmured against Yuri lips, kissing him slowly, while he adjusted to the pain. Viktor removed his fingers, pulled away and Yuri hitched his legs higher around his boyfriend as Viktor lined himself up.

Gently, he pushed the tip of his player 1 into Yuri and slowly inched the rest of it in, watching as Yuri adjusted and nodded, signalling he was fine. Yuri gasped when Viktor was fully in and his player 1 was just pressing against Yuri’s player 4. Viktor started to move gently, pulling himself halfway out before pushing himself back in.

‘Viktor, more’, Yuri groaned and Viktor sped up, his player1 rhythmically hitting Yuri’s player 4, making the words ‘like that, yeah just like that’ escape his pale lips. Viktor put one hand next to Yuri’s head and the other around his player 2, moving up and down with the rhythm of his body, causing Yuri to cry out as he came into Viktor’s hand, which was pressed onto Yuri’s chest as he came and pulled himself out slowly.

Yuri was panting, his eyes half closed as he looked up at Viktor through his lashes. ‘I’m warm now’, he said softly, lowering his legs while Viktor laid between them. Wiping cum of his hand and Yuri’s chest with a tissue. They stayed that way, lying chest to chest, Yuri holding Viktor to him as their breathing evened and their players went away.

Viktor pressed his face into Yuri’s shoulder, ‘And now I’ll keep you warm’, he muttered against the bare skin, pressing a soft kiss there.


End file.
